WIX Archives
Re:I love it only us Yanks would come up with this.
Posted by Rob Rohr on Sat Jun 08, 2002 04:36:26 PM
In reply top Absolutely! An oldie but a goodie...(ntx) posted by bdk on Thu Jun 06, 2002 08:19:15 PM
: : Via PPRUNE
: :
: : Your McDonnell Douglas Purchase
: : Subject: Your McDonnell Douglas Purchase
: :
: : I have been told that this was posted very briefly on th
: e
: : McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who obvio
: us
: : ly has a sense of humour. The company, of course, does n
: ot
: : have a sense of humour and made the web department take
: i
: : t down immediately.
: :
: : --------------------------------------------------------
: --
: :
: :
: : Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military ai
: rc
: : raft. In
: : order to protect your new investment, please take a few
: mo
: : ments to fill out the warranty registration card below.
: An
: : swering the survey questions is not required, but the in
: fo
: : rmation will help us to develop new products that best m
: ee
: : t your needs and desires.
: :
: : 1. Title:
: :
: : [_] Mr.
: : [_] Mrs.
: : [_] Ms.
: : [_] Miss
: : [_] Lt.
: : [_] Gen.
: : [_] Comrade
: : [_] Classified
: : [_] Other
: :
: : First Name: ............................................
: ..
: : ..
: : Initial: .........
: : Last Name ..........................................
: : Password: .......................... (max. 8 char)
: : Code Name: ......................................
: : Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: .......................
: :
: : 2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
: :
: : [_] F-14 Tomcat
: : [_] F-15 Eagle
: : [_] F-16 Falcon
: : [_] F-117A Stealth
: : [_] Classified
: :
: : 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ......./....... /.
: ..
: : ...
: :
: : 4. Serial Number: ......................................
: ..
: : ...
: :
: : 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
: :
: : [_] Received as gift / aid package
: : [_] Catalogue / showroom
: : [_] Independent arms broker
: : [_] Mail order
: : [_] Discount store
: : [_] Government surplus
: : [_] Classified
: :
: : 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
: D
: : ouglas product you have just purchased:
: :
: : [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
: : [_] Store display
: : [_] Espionage
: : [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
: : [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
: : [_] Was attacked by one
: :
: : 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influ
: en
: : ced your
: : decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
: :
: : [_] Style / appearance
: : [_] Speed / maneuverability
: : [_] Price / value
: : [_] Comfort / convenience
: : [_] Kickback / bribe
: : [_] Recommended by salesperson
: : [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
: : [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
: : [_] Backroom politics
: : [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
: :
: : 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product wi
: ll
: : be used:
: :
: : [_] North America
: : [_] Iraq
: : [_] Iraq
: : [_] Aircraft carrier
: : [_] Iraq
: : [_] Europe
: : [_] Iraq
: : [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
: : [_] Iraq
: : [_] Africa
: : [_] Iraq
: : [_] Asia / Far East
: : [_] Iraq
: : [_] Misc. Third World countries
: : [_] Iraq
: : [_] Classified
: : [_] Iraq
: :
: :
: : 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own o
: r
: : intend to purchase in the near future:
: :
: : [_] Color TV
: : [_] VCR
: : [_] ICBM
: : [_] Killer Satellite
: : [_] CD Player
: : [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
: : [_] Space Shuttle
: : [_] Home Computer
: : [_] Nuclear Weapon
: :
: : 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization
: ?
: :
: : (Indicate all that apply):
: :
: : [_] Communist / Socialist
: : [_] Terrorist
: : [_] Crazed
: : [_] Neutral
: : [_] Democratic
: : [_] Dictatorship
: : [_] Corrupt
: : [_] Primitive / Tribal
: :
: : 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
:
: :
: : [_] Deficit spending
: : [_] Cash
: : [_] Suitcases of cocaine
: : [_] Oil revenues
: : [_] Personal check
: : [_] Credit card
: : [_] Ransom money
: : [_] Traveler's check
: :
: : 12. Your occupation:
: :
: : [_] Homemaker
: : [_] Sales / Marketing
: : [_] Revolutionary
: : [_] Clerical
: : [_] Mercenary
: : [_] Tyrant
: : [_] Middle Management
: : [_] Eccentric Billionaire
: : [_] Defense Minister / General
: : [_] Retired
: : [_] Student
: :
: :
: : 13. To help us better understand our customers, please i
: nd
: : icate the interests and activities in which you and your
: s
: : pouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
: :
: : [_] Golf
: : [_] Boating / Sailing
: : [_] Sabotage
: : [_] Running / Jogging
: : [_] Propaganda / Misinformation
: : [_] Destabilization / Overthrow
: : [_] Default on Loans
: : [_] Gardening
: : [_] Crafts
: : [_] Black Market / Smuggling
: : [_] Collectibles / Collections
: : [_] Watching Sports on TV
: : [_] Wines
: : [_] Interrogation / Torture
: : [_] Household Pets
: : [_] Crushing Rebellions
: : [_] Espionage / Reconnaissance
: : [_] Fashion Clothing
: : [_] Border disputes
: : [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
: :
: : Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionn
: ai
: : re. Your
: : answers will be used in market studies that will help Mc
: Do
: : nnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well a
: s
: : allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from
: o
: : ther companies, governments, extremist groups, and myste
: ri
: : ous consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey,
: y
: : ou will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our D
: es
: : ert Thunder Sweepstakes!
: :
: : Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
: : Please write to:
: :
: : McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
: : Marketing Department Military,
: : Aerospace Division
: :
: : IMPORTANT NOTE:
: :
: : This e-mail is intended for the use of the individual ad
: dr
: : essee(s)
: : named above and may contain information that is confiden
: ti
: : al,
: : privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons wi
: th
: : low
: : self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious b
: el
: : iefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemi
: na
: : tion, distribution or copying of this e-mail is not auth
: or
: : ized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes a
: n
: : irritating social faux pas.
: :
: : Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its corr
: ec
: : t context somewhere other than in this warning, it does
: no
: : t have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
:
: :
: : No animals were harmed in the transmission of this e-mai
: l,
: : although the Kelpie next door is living on borrowed tim
: e,
: : let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear
: o
: : f the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is n
: o
: : hidden message revealed by reading this warning backward
: s,
: : so just ignore that alert notice from Microsoft.
: :
: : However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around you
: rs
: : elf and
: : your computer, you can ensure that no harm befalls you a
: nd
: : your pets.
: :
: :
: : --McDonnell Douglas