WIX Archives

Absolutely! An oldie but a goodie...(ntx)

Posted by bdk on Thu Jun 06, 2002 08:19:15 PM

In reply top Do Boeing employess have such a fine sense of humour? posted by Tony on Thu Jun 06, 2002 07:25:03 PM

: Via PPRUNE
:
: Your McDonnell Douglas Purchase
: Subject: Your McDonnell Douglas Purchase
:
: I have been told that this was posted very briefly on the
: McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who obvious
: ly has a sense of humour. The company, of course, does not
: have a sense of humour and made the web department take i
: t down immediately.
:
: ----------------------------------------------------------
:
:
: Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military airc
: raft. In
: order to protect your new investment, please take a few mo
: ments to fill out the warranty registration card below. An
: swering the survey questions is not required, but the info
: rmation will help us to develop new products that best mee
: t your needs and desires.
:
: 1. Title:
:
: [_] Mr.
: [_] Mrs.
: [_] Ms.
: [_] Miss
: [_] Lt.
: [_] Gen.
: [_] Comrade
: [_] Classified
: [_] Other
:
: First Name: ..............................................
: ..
: Initial: .........
: Last Name ..........................................
: Password: .......................... (max. 8 char)
: Code Name: ......................................
: Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: .......................
:
: 2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
:
: [_] F-14 Tomcat
: [_] F-15 Eagle
: [_] F-16 Falcon
: [_] F-117A Stealth
: [_] Classified
:
: 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ......./....... /...
: ...
:
: 4. Serial Number: ........................................
: ...
:
: 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
:
: [_] Received as gift / aid package
: [_] Catalogue / showroom
: [_] Independent arms broker
: [_] Mail order
: [_] Discount store
: [_] Government surplus
: [_] Classified
:
: 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell D
: ouglas product you have just purchased:
:
: [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
: [_] Store display
: [_] Espionage
: [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
: [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
: [_] Was attacked by one
:
: 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influen
: ced your
: decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
:
: [_] Style / appearance
: [_] Speed / maneuverability
: [_] Price / value
: [_] Comfort / convenience
: [_] Kickback / bribe
: [_] Recommended by salesperson
: [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
: [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
: [_] Backroom politics
: [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
:
: 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will
: be used:
:
: [_] North America
: [_] Iraq
: [_] Iraq
: [_] Aircraft carrier
: [_] Iraq
: [_] Europe
: [_] Iraq
: [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
: [_] Iraq
: [_] Africa
: [_] Iraq
: [_] Asia / Far East
: [_] Iraq
: [_] Misc. Third World countries
: [_] Iraq
: [_] Classified
: [_] Iraq
:
:
: 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or
: intend to purchase in the near future:
:
: [_] Color TV
: [_] VCR
: [_] ICBM
: [_] Killer Satellite
: [_] CD Player
: [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
: [_] Space Shuttle
: [_] Home Computer
: [_] Nuclear Weapon
:
: 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
:
: (Indicate all that apply):
:
: [_] Communist / Socialist
: [_] Terrorist
: [_] Crazed
: [_] Neutral
: [_] Democratic
: [_] Dictatorship
: [_] Corrupt
: [_] Primitive / Tribal
:
: 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
:
: [_] Deficit spending
: [_] Cash
: [_] Suitcases of cocaine
: [_] Oil revenues
: [_] Personal check
: [_] Credit card
: [_] Ransom money
: [_] Traveler's check
:
: 12. Your occupation:
:
: [_] Homemaker
: [_] Sales / Marketing
: [_] Revolutionary
: [_] Clerical
: [_] Mercenary
: [_] Tyrant
: [_] Middle Management
: [_] Eccentric Billionaire
: [_] Defense Minister / General
: [_] Retired
: [_] Student
:
:
: 13. To help us better understand our customers, please ind
: icate the interests and activities in which you and your s
: pouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
:
: [_] Golf
: [_] Boating / Sailing
: [_] Sabotage
: [_] Running / Jogging
: [_] Propaganda / Misinformation
: [_] Destabilization / Overthrow
: [_] Default on Loans
: [_] Gardening
: [_] Crafts
: [_] Black Market / Smuggling
: [_] Collectibles / Collections
: [_] Watching Sports on TV
: [_] Wines
: [_] Interrogation / Torture
: [_] Household Pets
: [_] Crushing Rebellions
: [_] Espionage / Reconnaissance
: [_] Fashion Clothing
: [_] Border disputes
: [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
:
: Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnai
: re. Your
: answers will be used in market studies that will help McDo
: nnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as
: allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from o
: ther companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysteri
: ous consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, y
: ou will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Des
: ert Thunder Sweepstakes!
:
: Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
: Please write to:
:
: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
: Marketing Department Military,
: Aerospace Division
:
: IMPORTANT NOTE:
:
: This e-mail is intended for the use of the individual addr
: essee(s)
: named above and may contain information that is confidenti
: al,
: privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with
: low
: self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious bel
: iefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemina
: tion, distribution or copying of this e-mail is not author
: ized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an
: irritating social faux pas.
:
: Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correc
: t context somewhere other than in this warning, it does no
: t have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored.
:
: No animals were harmed in the transmission of this e-mail,
: although the Kelpie next door is living on borrowed time,
: let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear o
: f the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no
: hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards,
: so just ignore that alert notice from Microsoft.
:
: However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yours
: elf and
: your computer, you can ensure that no harm befalls you and
: your pets.
:
:
: --McDonnell Douglas

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